February 19, 2012

Friendship Friday

     "Putting your friend’s welfare before your own: that was Austen’s idea of true friendship. That means admitting when you’re wrong, but even more importantly, it means being willing to tell your friend when they are. It took me a long time to wrap my head around that notion, because it flew so strongly in the face of what we believe about friendship today. True friendship, we think, means unconditional acceptance and support. The true friend validates your feelings, takes your side in every argument, helps you feel good about yourself at all times, and never, ever judges you. But Austen didn’t believe that. For her being happy means becoming a better person, and becoming a better person means having your mistakes pointed out to you in a way that you can’t ignore. Yes, the true friend wants you to be happy, but being happy and feeling good about yourself are not the same things. In fact, they can sometimes be diametrically opposed. True friends do not shield you from your mistakes, they tell you about them: even at the risk of losing your friendship—which means, even at the risk of being unhappy themselves."

 A Jane Austen Education – William Deresiewicz

     (This was supposed to be Friday's food-for-thought post. Oops! ~Noble)



  1. Great quote! And what an exhortation to love the saints rather than ourselves. Thanks!

  2. A Jane Austin Education by William Deresiewicz shows that Jane Austin is not just 150 year old chick lit. I heard an extract from the audio book on The Book Report Radio show. I get most of my new book ideas from this show. You can listen on http://bookreportradio.com. I find that this show is a great way to broaden my interests